So, there are only 5 months left until my wedding day! I felt like I got so much done early (reserved a caterer, reception location, ceremony location, DJ, met with my florist, got me dress and bridesmaid dresses figured out, and generally planned the whole "feel" of my wedding), but there is still so much left to do! Now is the time when we move from broad, albeit important, decisions to the tiniest of details.
I feel like the next few months are when it is most likely to forget an important item. Will I forget to order favors for my guests? Will I forget to ask for extra spoons, thus ending up with people eating slices of cake by hand?! I'm probably exaggerating here, but this stems from a dream I had a few weeks ago in which we got married, started the reception, and I realized I had completely forgotten to order a wedding cake! The encouraging part of this dream is that no one really cared and we ended up having a great night anyway.
I guess the best advice I have been given (that keeps me sane) is that something will go wrong, no matter what, but it won't be a big deal because you will be happy that you've got that special someone by your side and everyone will push through whatever problem it is so you can have a wonderful wedding day.
Today I tackled getting a rehearsal dinner location. E and I were thinking of having it at Mildred's/New Deal Cafe. I called and got some info from them, and it seems like it will work. After talking to my mom (always take mom's advice), I decided to call a couple of other places to get a baseline idea of costs to compare. I decided to check Amelia's, my favorite fine dining Italian place in Gainesville. I went to their website and filled out a contact form. Now-in case you don't know this about me- I WAAAY prefer emails to phone calls. I sound much more intelligent in typed form. Well, don't count this blog. Honestly, I don't try too hard to sound smart since we're all friends here. :o) Traditional internet happy face for good measure. Well, their contact form asks for a phone number and email address, and it's the annoying kind that won't let you submit the form without filling all the fields. So I'm thinking, "great, some maitre d' is going to call me asking if I want to reserve a dinner time and won't actually know anything about private dining." I can just imagine him asking, "okay, what time? And do you want your guests to eat chicken or fish? Other options? I don't think so, people are always happy with either chicken or fish. No I don't know what the contract looks like."
Anyway, I hit send and figured I'd let it go to voicemail and hope they try to email me. As is usual, however, I have also been expecting 2 other phone calls, both car- and doctor-related, so I answered when I didn't recognize the number. To my surprise, it was the Head Chef of Amelia's, Andy Fass! I felt so privileged. I 'met' him once before. I use quotes because he just came to check on our tables food and refill our waters. I love it when chefs and owners take enough interest in their patrons to check on them personally. It reminds me of when E and I ate a romantic dinner at Manuel's Vintage Room, and right at the table next to us was Manuel himself, enjoying some of the restaurant's food! He was just chilling, watching people enjoy his restaurant. In between courses, he checked up on us and introduced himself!
It seems silly, but I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity each time I meet a local restaurant's owner or chef. Let's blame that on the Food Network. So, anyway, Amelia's Chef was very nice on the phone, and willing to answer any of my questions. He will even send me the sample menu himself. I don't know why, but these are all +1s in my book. We'll see where we end up. Honestly, I think we would still pull for Mildred's because of the ease of parking and variety of interesting local fare, but Amelia's will definitely give them a run for their money.
Besides that, I also have 2 meetings already set up in the month of January to check in with my florist (I changed my mind on EVERYTHING since the last time we spoke, just as she predicted) and have meeting #2 with the minister. I also ordered our rings and the invitations, so I will be super excited to see those when they get here. Luckily, I don't have to worry about the cake yet since I'm going with a big-box-baker instead of a local business (sorry, but you just have to compromise on some things when it comes to money. The price difference is about 50%).
Up and coming items include the limo, a veil, favors, going over details with the caterer, ceremony pianist, and various decor decisions.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
What's in a Name? A Lily is a Lily...
I have wanted to write you for quite a long time now, but it's been hard. The main issues going on in my life right now would be inappropriate to post where, really, anyone can get at it. These stressful times have been broadcast to my close friends that happened to ask how work was, but I just can't risk putting it all out there. Let's just say the economy has made things... fleeting. Certain aspects of life are now noticeably ephemeral (oxymoron much?), and I struggle with learning to live by the moment. The way I'm dealing with it now is by letting myself know that what I do now was never meant to be permanent. Eventually, we will move somewhere else and it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
Don't worry, none of this has anything to do with family or E or the wedding. All of that is peachy. The important things are stable and they serve as my rock. I think I'm in a good place right now where I've decided that this will do for now, and now is all I need it to do for. Hopefully, things will continue to look up.
On a bright note, after some recent experience, I have decided that I would LOVE to work as a magazine editor. I always thought I'd like to work for a newspaper, magazine or publisher, but now I know I would thrive. Maybe not newspapers since they're going by the wayside and I'm not much of a journalist, but I like talking about layout and editing text. Exciting! I actually had some good ideas today that we ran with and I think it's going to turn out great! I think that I would eventually like to go back to school for more specialized training, but not necessarily to a traditional university. I'll look into journalism or graphic design, probably. Any advice/ experience on this note would be greatly appreciated!
On a much happier note, let's talk weddings! I just finished my save the dates, and most of those will be going out within the next week or so. I'm going to start interviewing florists to reserve them for my date. I really don't expect to need much from the florist. I see no need to spend $2,000 (that's what the average couple pays) on flowers that will die in a week and would have looked nicer in someone's garden. I want locally sourced, sustainable flowers. There is only one type of flower that I want a few blooms of no matter where they need to come from... lilies. That's my flower. I'm thinking stargazer lilies among gerbera daisies. Very innocent with a pop of color. Maybe a few other surprises thrown in, but keeping it simple. I think my bridesmaids will have daisies. As for centerpieces, I really want potted plants that people can take home and continue to care for. Wouldn't it be great for them to look at these flowers in their yard or on their windowsill a year from now (or 3 months, depending on how green their thumbs are), and be reminded of my... I mean, our special day?
My family may be coming to visit in the next few weeks, which means my first wedding dress shopping trip! This is something I have vehemently insisted on doing with my mother. I will not dress shop on my own or without my mom there. It just wouldn't feel right. I feel bad even going into the store. I don't want to fall in love with anything yet. This is mostly to try on different styles and get a feel for what I like and what likes me. It won't matter what dress I love if it doesn't look great on my frame.
Another wedding detail I've been mulling over lately is my name change. Here is what I know:
-I want to take E's name in some form.
-E doesn't want us to have different last names, but is willing to change his own to this end.
-I would like to keep my own name in some form because, really, if I took E's last name (common Anglo-Saxon last name, think "Smith" or "Jones") and lost mine, I would become the most white person ever and no one would believe that I'm actually Hispanic. I already have trouble with parts of my family not being able to pronounce "Shirley." It comes out as Cheer-lee or Chur-lee. I'm pretty sure there is no "Sh" sound in the Spanish language.
Option 1:
For a while we were toying with hyphens. In this scenario, we would both take the new, hyphenated last name. We would be able to choose which name goes 1st or 2nd. The point would be to get both names in there, but for it to be logical for people to use his last name if they choose to call us by just one. Basically, I've been evaluating the user-friendliness of our potential last name. I figure that in order for people to call us Mr. and Mrs. HisLastName, then our hyphenated name would need to be His-Hers, as opposed to Hers-His. I realize, however, that this would mean signing a really long name to everything and the added annoyance of E having to change all of his paperwork to the new name. I have also heard that having a hyphenated name is difficult to convey to people over the phone and that some software is confused by it. E and I really don't need any more silly-mistakes-that-make-life-hell going on.
Option 2:
My maiden name really doesn't need a place of prominence. I just want the option to use it if I want, so I won't have to sign my art differently and I can make it clear that I am not Mrs. Mary Smith, White Person Extraordinaire. So, the other option is to make my maiden name my middle name and take E's name as my own. I think this is the front runner so far. I don't have a middle name, so there is already a void there waiting to be filled. I won't have to worry about having 4 names. I could choose to use my new middle name or just use the initial for it or ignore it entirely if I just want to sign a letter. People would be more likely to call me (and understand that I am) Mrs. HisLastName, but I would be holding on to the identity I've created over the past few years.
Any opinions or ideas on this last name stuff would be great. I'm trying to get as much feedback as possible. Talking (read: posting) really helps me hash it out.
Don't worry, none of this has anything to do with family or E or the wedding. All of that is peachy. The important things are stable and they serve as my rock. I think I'm in a good place right now where I've decided that this will do for now, and now is all I need it to do for. Hopefully, things will continue to look up.
On a bright note, after some recent experience, I have decided that I would LOVE to work as a magazine editor. I always thought I'd like to work for a newspaper, magazine or publisher, but now I know I would thrive. Maybe not newspapers since they're going by the wayside and I'm not much of a journalist, but I like talking about layout and editing text. Exciting! I actually had some good ideas today that we ran with and I think it's going to turn out great! I think that I would eventually like to go back to school for more specialized training, but not necessarily to a traditional university. I'll look into journalism or graphic design, probably. Any advice/ experience on this note would be greatly appreciated!
On a much happier note, let's talk weddings! I just finished my save the dates, and most of those will be going out within the next week or so. I'm going to start interviewing florists to reserve them for my date. I really don't expect to need much from the florist. I see no need to spend $2,000 (that's what the average couple pays) on flowers that will die in a week and would have looked nicer in someone's garden. I want locally sourced, sustainable flowers. There is only one type of flower that I want a few blooms of no matter where they need to come from... lilies. That's my flower. I'm thinking stargazer lilies among gerbera daisies. Very innocent with a pop of color. Maybe a few other surprises thrown in, but keeping it simple. I think my bridesmaids will have daisies. As for centerpieces, I really want potted plants that people can take home and continue to care for. Wouldn't it be great for them to look at these flowers in their yard or on their windowsill a year from now (or 3 months, depending on how green their thumbs are), and be reminded of my... I mean, our special day?
My family may be coming to visit in the next few weeks, which means my first wedding dress shopping trip! This is something I have vehemently insisted on doing with my mother. I will not dress shop on my own or without my mom there. It just wouldn't feel right. I feel bad even going into the store. I don't want to fall in love with anything yet. This is mostly to try on different styles and get a feel for what I like and what likes me. It won't matter what dress I love if it doesn't look great on my frame.
Another wedding detail I've been mulling over lately is my name change. Here is what I know:
-I want to take E's name in some form.
-E doesn't want us to have different last names, but is willing to change his own to this end.
-I would like to keep my own name in some form because, really, if I took E's last name (common Anglo-Saxon last name, think "Smith" or "Jones") and lost mine, I would become the most white person ever and no one would believe that I'm actually Hispanic. I already have trouble with parts of my family not being able to pronounce "Shirley." It comes out as Cheer-lee or Chur-lee. I'm pretty sure there is no "Sh" sound in the Spanish language.
Option 1:
For a while we were toying with hyphens. In this scenario, we would both take the new, hyphenated last name. We would be able to choose which name goes 1st or 2nd. The point would be to get both names in there, but for it to be logical for people to use his last name if they choose to call us by just one. Basically, I've been evaluating the user-friendliness of our potential last name. I figure that in order for people to call us Mr. and Mrs. HisLastName, then our hyphenated name would need to be His-Hers, as opposed to Hers-His. I realize, however, that this would mean signing a really long name to everything and the added annoyance of E having to change all of his paperwork to the new name. I have also heard that having a hyphenated name is difficult to convey to people over the phone and that some software is confused by it. E and I really don't need any more silly-mistakes-that-make-life-hell going on.
Option 2:
My maiden name really doesn't need a place of prominence. I just want the option to use it if I want, so I won't have to sign my art differently and I can make it clear that I am not Mrs. Mary Smith, White Person Extraordinaire. So, the other option is to make my maiden name my middle name and take E's name as my own. I think this is the front runner so far. I don't have a middle name, so there is already a void there waiting to be filled. I won't have to worry about having 4 names. I could choose to use my new middle name or just use the initial for it or ignore it entirely if I just want to sign a letter. People would be more likely to call me (and understand that I am) Mrs. HisLastName, but I would be holding on to the identity I've created over the past few years.
Any opinions or ideas on this last name stuff would be great. I'm trying to get as much feedback as possible. Talking (read: posting) really helps me hash it out.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Big Cities with Small-Town Heart
It has been entirely too long since the last time I blogged, so I thought I'd check in and keep this thing going. E (my moniker for the fiance) and I are on our respective couches, listening to the Kentucky Derby in the background. Actually, we're listening to all the lead-up to the Derby. The Derby itself is just about a minute long. Even so, I find myself mesmerized by all these giant hats. I have told E (and many others) that I would love to check "go to the Kentucky Derby wearing a large hat" off my list of Things to do Before I Die.
Oh! Here goes the Derby (6:29). Aaaaaaaand it's over (6:31). Mine That Bird is the winner. Jockey seems like a nice guy. Underdog, apparently, which is always nice.
Lately, E and I have discussed where to go whenever we finally leave Gainesville. This will probably happen sometime in the next 2 years, after he gets his Masters in Special Education. We've pretty much decided we want to move to a big city... but one with soul. I don't want to live in Miami, Orlando, or Jax. This isn't about horrible traffic and way too many people, all of which are rude and in a rush. This is about finding a great community with most things either at walking distance or just a subway or bus ride away. We'll probably still have a car, but I want to be able to survive without it. We also need a place that can offer plenty of eco-friendly shopping options (farmer's markets, large co-op, etc.), festivals and fairs, great dining, dynamic (yet friendly) people, and is culturally diverse. These are our main requirements. Looking at it now, I feel like we're asking too much of one city, but there are quite a few places that boast these very qualities.
So far, our list includes Seattle, Portland, Chicago, and New York. South Florida is out of the question. Having both grown up there, we decided early on to rule it out as a potential place to live. We both hated it there. The only place I would consider moving to in SoFla is Key West, to live out the rest of my days as a hot beach bum that is occasionally employed yet manages to live a lush and fulfilling life on the sand. *sigh*
We have also heard Boston is a great city, but that the people there aren't very nice. No judgements here, it is only what I've heard. I know a few nice people from Boston so I'm sure it's not that bad. When I break down our other options, I come up with this:
NY- Scary. It would be awesome to live there, but I never want to be a newbie there. I want to somehow move there knowing where everything is and all the back alleys I need to know. I never want to have to ask someone for directions in NY, especially if I'm on foot. I don't want to look lost to any potential robbers.
Chicago- Some people love the downtown area and hate the rest of the city. Some people love the rest of the city and hate the downtown area. I only got a chance to see the downtown, which was very cool and had nice people, but way too rich for my blood. I'm sure it's a more affordable city when you move away from the downtown, but how much fun will I have if I can't afford to set foot where all the action is? The food festivals are amazing, though. I would totally go back there just for that.
Portland- I almost typed "Potland." That is probably accurate. Portland seems like a great place for farmer's markets, great food, and a culturally diverse (and quirky) community. But how's the public transportation? How far is everything from everything else? Is there enough shopping and fashion to satisfy the part of me that desperately wants to be on the Sex and the City set - just to steal everyone's clothes? Actually, it may be best for my wallet if this aspect of Portland doesn't exist. I simply do not know enough about this place. Also far away.
Seattle- I have heard the most hype about Seattle (some of it in conjunction with Portland). It's apparently everything on my list, except for the transportation part. I guess you still have to drive around to be efficient. I really don't want to live that far away from my family, though.
If I live clear across the country, I will definitely only see them for Christmas. I don't know if I can handle that. I'd like to see them more often than I see them now - about 3-4 times a year. E feels like it's a non-issue, but Hispanic families are very close. He sees no problem with being that far away from each other, but I need those hugs from my mom. (Sorry.) On the other hand, I need to live my life the way I want to live it.
When I decided to move from Homestead to Gainesville for college, my grandmother tried to convince my mom to forbid me from moving. She said my mother can't let me go so far away. I should stay home like everyone else in my family, until I got married. Then I could move out of my mom's house and into my own house somewhere in the same city or, at the very most, in a neighboring city. This is my family. While I have been the most outgoing, I still find it hard to move so far that I'll only see my mom and everyone else once a year.
At this point, I think I've decided that distance will have to be a side effect of our move, not a limiting factor. I will just have to spend all my disposable income on plane tickets. Period. I don't want to neglect myself from finding a great city to spend my first few married years in (and a potential place to eventually settle). I love my family and, hopefully, they wont see my distance from them as a measure of that love.
Oh! Here goes the Derby (6:29). Aaaaaaaand it's over (6:31). Mine That Bird is the winner. Jockey seems like a nice guy. Underdog, apparently, which is always nice.
Lately, E and I have discussed where to go whenever we finally leave Gainesville. This will probably happen sometime in the next 2 years, after he gets his Masters in Special Education. We've pretty much decided we want to move to a big city... but one with soul. I don't want to live in Miami, Orlando, or Jax. This isn't about horrible traffic and way too many people, all of which are rude and in a rush. This is about finding a great community with most things either at walking distance or just a subway or bus ride away. We'll probably still have a car, but I want to be able to survive without it. We also need a place that can offer plenty of eco-friendly shopping options (farmer's markets, large co-op, etc.), festivals and fairs, great dining, dynamic (yet friendly) people, and is culturally diverse. These are our main requirements. Looking at it now, I feel like we're asking too much of one city, but there are quite a few places that boast these very qualities.
So far, our list includes Seattle, Portland, Chicago, and New York. South Florida is out of the question. Having both grown up there, we decided early on to rule it out as a potential place to live. We both hated it there. The only place I would consider moving to in SoFla is Key West, to live out the rest of my days as a hot beach bum that is occasionally employed yet manages to live a lush and fulfilling life on the sand. *sigh*
We have also heard Boston is a great city, but that the people there aren't very nice. No judgements here, it is only what I've heard. I know a few nice people from Boston so I'm sure it's not that bad. When I break down our other options, I come up with this:
NY- Scary. It would be awesome to live there, but I never want to be a newbie there. I want to somehow move there knowing where everything is and all the back alleys I need to know. I never want to have to ask someone for directions in NY, especially if I'm on foot. I don't want to look lost to any potential robbers.
Chicago- Some people love the downtown area and hate the rest of the city. Some people love the rest of the city and hate the downtown area. I only got a chance to see the downtown, which was very cool and had nice people, but way too rich for my blood. I'm sure it's a more affordable city when you move away from the downtown, but how much fun will I have if I can't afford to set foot where all the action is? The food festivals are amazing, though. I would totally go back there just for that.
Portland- I almost typed "Potland." That is probably accurate. Portland seems like a great place for farmer's markets, great food, and a culturally diverse (and quirky) community. But how's the public transportation? How far is everything from everything else? Is there enough shopping and fashion to satisfy the part of me that desperately wants to be on the Sex and the City set - just to steal everyone's clothes? Actually, it may be best for my wallet if this aspect of Portland doesn't exist. I simply do not know enough about this place. Also far away.
Seattle- I have heard the most hype about Seattle (some of it in conjunction with Portland). It's apparently everything on my list, except for the transportation part. I guess you still have to drive around to be efficient. I really don't want to live that far away from my family, though.
If I live clear across the country, I will definitely only see them for Christmas. I don't know if I can handle that. I'd like to see them more often than I see them now - about 3-4 times a year. E feels like it's a non-issue, but Hispanic families are very close. He sees no problem with being that far away from each other, but I need those hugs from my mom. (Sorry.) On the other hand, I need to live my life the way I want to live it.
When I decided to move from Homestead to Gainesville for college, my grandmother tried to convince my mom to forbid me from moving. She said my mother can't let me go so far away. I should stay home like everyone else in my family, until I got married. Then I could move out of my mom's house and into my own house somewhere in the same city or, at the very most, in a neighboring city. This is my family. While I have been the most outgoing, I still find it hard to move so far that I'll only see my mom and everyone else once a year.
At this point, I think I've decided that distance will have to be a side effect of our move, not a limiting factor. I will just have to spend all my disposable income on plane tickets. Period. I don't want to neglect myself from finding a great city to spend my first few married years in (and a potential place to eventually settle). I love my family and, hopefully, they wont see my distance from them as a measure of that love.
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