A Child-Centric Society

Last night, the fiance' and I went to Satchel's, our favorite pizza place, for dinner. It was a busy night and they aren't afraid to ask patrons to share tables, so after a 1-hour wait (not uncommon, but worth it) we were seated on the edge of a table with another party on it, right next to the children's play area. If you've ever seen their play area, you know it's literally just a small corner with some old toys in it and a bench. This is normally not a problem.

Now, I have to take a moment to try and summarize my view on kids... Not a huge fan. I don't mind them. Heck, I even like some of them. They're cute at a very young age, slowly getting less cute as they learn the definition, and then the art, of being mean or selfish. So, I'll play with little ones if need be, but bottom line in my eyes is, they're yours. I don't have any. I have not chosen to birth any, and there is a reason for that. Please take care of your own kids. It's not my job to watch them if you aren't paying attention just because they are near me.

There are some people with kids that will read the previous paragraph and think I'm a crude bitch who doesn't know that babies are what makes the world go 'round. Newsflash to those people: we have plenty of babies, thanks. Adopt some. Still not my job to take care of them for you or my problem if they are being loud or obnoxious. If I wanted that sort of responsibility I would have some myself, but I know I have a very low tolerance for them between the ages of 5 and 12, so I do the world a favor and don't have one right now. I understand that babies cry. There's nothing you can do about it and you should still be able to go out for some dinner. Most parents with crying babies, I have found, seem to do what they can when in public to calm the baby. Thank you, from all the non-parents out there.

Back to the story of last night. So, we're sitting by the kids corner, very excited for our food because Satchel's can be pricey, so it's a special treat for us. We probably haven't been there in 6 months and probably won't go back for another 6 months since E will be back in school and up to his nose in debt. At first there were just a few young kids playing. They made some noise, but who doesn't? However, one large party seemed to finish up their meals and sent ALL of their children to the kids area while they talked, even some kids that were obviously not going to play with the giant 3-piece puzzle or the tea set. I would guess the oldest was about 9. So here are about 6-7 children aging from 2 to 9 in this one tiny corner right next to my chair, both boys and girls, putting buckets on their heads, yelling and throwing things. Here's how close they were to me: 5 of them were fighting to sit on the 3-person bench and I got kicked in the arm.

The parents knew the children were misbehaving, but what did they care? The kids were at least 10 feet away, and that's about as far as parental responsibility goes in a restaurant, right? Anyway, one woman seemed to try to calm them down by looking over, giving a stern eye, and then turning right back to her conversation. By the time we got our pizza (it takes about another 45 minutes to get your food, still worth it) I was kicked, my chair was getting hit by a bucket as if it were a drum, kids were screaming "mine!" in high-pitched voices in my ear, and boys were elbowing my chair as they fought over whatever. No one actually did anything until I had to move to the other side of the table and eat my food in annoyed silence since there was no way I could hear E. I guess people noticed I had moved, so one lady came over and asked the kids to be quiet, apologized for the noise (which was the least of my problems) and walked away. Finally when we were about 15 minutes from leaving, one woman that seemed to be the grandmother and had been taking pictures of the cute kids fighting took them all out to the shop in back. It was too late and the special meal that I have maybe twice a year was ruined. I was in a bad mood and half the restaurant kept looking over at me as if to say "that's the bitch that can't stand watching innocent children play." I felt embarrassed, frustrated, and singled out.

Why is it that our society values children so much that even a bad word, look, or thought towards them is grounds for a stoning? Why is it that if one couple has children in the room, it becomes everyone's job to deal with them and/or keep an eye on them. Don't get me wrong. Value your children, please. But don't make it my job to value them, too. If you chose to have them, they should be your precious jewels. I only have jewels for my fingers and ears, thanks. I don't want some that talk back. Why is it that no matter how bad, how loud, how unreasonable, or how violent your kid is, I have to take it and take it with a smile when I'm out for a nice night?

Look, I'm not one of those people that sees a kid in a restaurant or on a plane and thinks "oh, great, I'll have to deal with THAT." But if your kid(s) are very obviously causing someone distress, please take them back to your table or take them outside like the lady finally did at the end of the night. You birthed them for a reason, whatever that reason may be. You get the good AND the bad. You don't get to let someone else deal with the bad when they have no choice.

Basically, it only makes sense to me that if:

A. you have a kid
B. I don't have a kid
C. that kid is causing enough of a problem,
then
D. you should have the ruined night, not me.